brown eyed fox

blabbering

change of season

blabberingcarissa fox16 Comments

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i feel like we jUst started our "thankfuls".
really.
i'm not even sure all the pumpkin pie i ate is through my system.
i ate A LOT.
who can blame me though... it was Royers.
come on!

it's been a chock full time...
and i've been much better at posting over at instagram than i have here.
won't always be like that... promise.  i do.
it's just all too easy to snap & post in the moment.
especially when things are hectic.

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we drove up the driveway the other day and lil bit said...
"mom LOOK AT THE TREES... they're beautiful".
(of course i snapped & posted to instagram)
it was like it happened overnight.
the change of season... and it's pretty color... isn't as bold here in Houston...
so when we see it... it makes us ooh & ahh.

i would love to hang on to Fall a bit longer honestly.
savor it's bit... pieces... and blessings some more.
if i can be honest... the pace feels fast to me.
rushed.
days are overflowing... washing over... backing up actually.
must do's are seemingly endless...
being postponed "until tomorrow" because there's simply not enough time left.

been thinking about this a lot lately.
as i lie in bed awake by 3am.
(for some reason that's my clock lately)
mind rushing... stomach churning.

i think the thing that gets me... and i wonder if you feel this way too...
the guilt EATS ME UP.
i feel bad because i still have not sent that baby gift...
written that thank you note...
we had chick-fil-a again for dinner...
need to make those dental appointments...
was i too hard on her today?...
on & on & on.... and on.
our minds race.

the only thing... the only... that brings me peace...
brings me back to me center...
is putting Him at the top again.
i say again...
because...
He... of course... IS first in my life...
but i do sometimes "allow" the devil to web his weave of "you're not worthy".

i often have to visualize myself pushing doubt, worry, to do's...
to the side...
and focusing solely on Him.

i'm learning to let go.
say no.
to more.
yearning for simplier times.
are you?

our lives have become SO busy.
i see other women... all they do...
and i slump under the weight of my inadequacies.
wonder why i can't keep up.

is it keeping up?
or just trying to be something i'm not?

know this is a process.
i may keep falling... failing...
but determined to make a way...
and hope to share triumphs soon.

and HOPING this makes a bit of sense.
wow... that was a ramble for sure.

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in keeping with my heart's desire...
we've gone very simple this year with decoration.
and the kids have loved it.
i'll for sure share more soon.
by no means will we celebrate His birthday any less...
i like to think we're just making space physically & spiritually.

as always... thank you for letting me share.

playing judge

believing, blabberingcarissa fox5 Comments

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"well... he was like a box of rocks".
i thought.
i said.
out loud.

if you were to ask me what one of the biggest things i want to teach my children?
a biggy for me...
something i want them to always REMIND themselves...
to be an example in doing?
it would be... to NOT judge.

this topic goes deep & reaches far for me.
for many of us.
on many levels...
and really the conversation of judging could go on & on...
but in it's simplest form i say we're better off...
when we leave that judging alone.

we walk through our daily lives encountering so many people.
certainly... some days... more than others.
acquaintances.
friends.
good friends.
family.
perfect strangers.

it is impossible for us to know... even if we THINK we know...
no matter HOW well we know him/her...
what that person is handling that day.
dealing with.
facing.
been battling.
the rough morning they had.
what kind of shoes they're wearing.

that man in the parking lot that never seems to grin.
the lady you hear lose her temper with her child in the aisle at the grocery.
that email that was never returned.
he was awfully short with me.
mom "she wasn't very nice to me today".

it's not our place... our job... to figure out... read into.
thank goodness!
were they not so nice?
maybe.
could they smile?
maybe.
could they have responded already?
maybe. 
and... maybe not.

i'm far from perfect... far... oh my word...
i called the man in the drive-thru a box of rocks!
i hate when i feel myself judging though... like i have a right.
it's like a big 'ol mirror pointing right back at me.

we are all SO different.
have much going on at any given time.
why even make room for that thought?
let it take root?

you may not agree with everything someone says...
the way they dress...
conduct their affairs...
that's ok... YOU do the right thing.

certainly... this goes without saying...
this doesn't mean we shy away from helping someone in need... reaching out.
we do... should... that's the good stuff.

i just firmly believe... the shoes that person is wearing...
 we don't know the miles... the load... the reason.
keep smiling...
stay in your shoes...
don't judge.
remember this boat goes both ways.
♥ 

well... hello...

blabberingcarissa fox9 Comments

if you're reading this... thank you!
it means a lot to know you came back...
to see if the crazy lady was going to ever post again!  :)

i'm here.
been spending crazy amounts of time in my car.
filled up my tank three times this week!
that't nuts.
oh my goodness...
it is certainly one of the big changes coming back to houston...
the traffic and the sheer size of the city.

 i've been odsessing about the exterior finishes on the house.
oh my word.
i have to say... s.c.a.r.y!
obsessing and yet having fun all at the same time.

met with the company that will be making our front door.
i think i'm going to love it.
yes!
hoping to have a cad drawing of it today... that should be neat.

i've also been eating like the food i'm putting in my mouth contains no calories.
what so ever.
i think i'm a stress eater.
yes... think so.
 
i have to say... i've been so torn lately... with my blog.
 what to share... what not to share.
 it used to be i had so much i wanted to show and tell.
never knew how much being in this gloomy apt was going to affect me.
 and my blog.
goodness.

going to continue though...
 it's where i am right now after all.
where my life is.
where my feet are planted.
and you know... it may be a bit different than i thought... would have expected...
it is a gift and blessing just the same.

today...
i'm pretty darn excited it's friday.
not having to set the alarm tomorrow morning... ohhhh... yes!
getting to sit & sip... instead of rushing out the door.
hoping you're giddy too.
that your weekend holds just what you need too.